How to Overcome Everyday Disasters

Not all setbacks are of epic proportion. Often, all it takes is a casual insult or silly faux pas to knock you off course. Those trip-ups can snowball--a barista snaps at you, leading you to be short with a coworker, which turns into a fight with your partner, and...well, you get the idea.

To help manage life's minor tragedies and prevent them from wreaking havoc on your world, we asked psychology and etiquette experts to share their own stories of everyday woe--and how they recovered."I was at a hot new restaurant--the kind of place where all the waitresses want to be actresses--and my young and beautiful server gave me a look of pure disdain and sighed when I asked her a question about the menu. Then she actually walked away in the middle of my order to wait on a table of 'more important' people! I nearly lost my appetite."

Fix It Fast Instead of being rude to your server (that won't help anyone), discreetly find the manager or ma?e d', and say something like, "My waitress and I just don't seem to be communicating. Would it be possible to switch?" The manager will appreciate that you didn't make a spectacle and will likely oblige. After all, he wants a repeat customer.

Next Time Now, when Orloff notices that the coffee shop/lunch counter/five-star restaurant she's in is busting-at-the-seams busy, she makes sure to acknowledge it to her server. ("They have you working hard today, huh? I'll try to make this painless.") Once you lay on the empathy and camaraderie--and the smiles--the waitress will have a tougher time being so impolite to you, she says.

"I once had to introduce a client to the only person I knew at an event--the mayor of the city we were in. As we walked over to the mayor, I completely blanked on my client's name! I introduced the mayor, and then there was this awkward silence that lasted for what felt like forever. Everyone just looked at me.

Fix It Fast You can always try the "Have you two met?" trick. Usually one or the other will stick out his hand and make his own introduction. If that doesn't work, humility and honesty is the way to go: "I'm so sorry, but I've completely forgotten your name." What you never want to do is weasel out of the situation by ignoring an introduction, Fleming says. You'll simply make everyone uncomfortable.

Next Time If you have a flair for forgetfulness, immediately repeat your new acquaintance's name aloud. Also helpful: linking people's names to something visceral, like sights or sounds. (You just met Amy, who's from Maine. While silently repeating her name, picture her on a boat, sailing through the salty sea.) This way, you engage both the temporal lobe (the area of your brain that handles recall) and the brain's sensory motor center, says Fleming. With both parts storing the memory, you effectively double your recall powers.